For my second Ironman race, I chose the Great Floridian Triathlon, primarily because of it’s close location to Gainesville and secondarily because of the challenge it offered.  Though the GFT’s course changes every year, it always offers lots of hills on the bike and run, warm temperatures and overall challenging race conditions.

The two lap swim was in Lake Minneola.  The water temperature was 73, so wetsuits were legal.  The swim went well for me; I actually went through the first lap a bit ahead of schedule and settled back into an easy rhythm for the second lap.  With less than 300 racers, there was almost no contact on the swim.

Considering I swam the same time as I did last year at Ironman Wisconsin on almost no swim training, I am satisfied with how the swim went.  T1 was a bit slow, but uneventful.

My plan on the three loop hilly bike course was to be super ultra conservative.  I knew the heat and hills would be problematic if I was at all aggressive, so my plan was to be a slave to my power meter the whole way.

First, here are the numbers:
Distance: 114.8 miles (more on this oopsie in a bit)
Pedaling time: 6:50:40
Actual time: 7:01:32
Pedaling speed: 16.8mph
Actual speed: 15.9mph
Average power: 131 watts
Normalized power: 147 watts
VI: 1.13
Decoupling: 3.15%
Cadence: 87rpm
HR: 147bpm
Work: 3197kJ
TSS: 314.6
IF: 0.686

To summarize, I rode easy the whole way.  My average power for each of the three loops was 130-131 watts.  I kept my power low on the hills and pushed down the hills (my max speed was almost 50mph).  I stayed aero on the flats and downhills and used the uphills as an opportunity to change positions, eat/drink and stretch my legs.  I used very low gearing (50/34 chainrings, 11-28 cassette) to allow for easy ascent of the rollers and fast speeds on the downhills.

On the first loop, I was getting passed left and right by testosterone filled guys pushing 500 watts up the rollers.  I was not too concerned.  I had a feeling I’d catch them at mile 100.  Sure enough, I was the one doing the passing on loop 3!

I made several short stops at aid stations to collect my nutrition, pour water on myself (the air temperature on the bike reached 85 degrees) and keep my HR under control.  I’m glad I did this, as it gave me a chance to catch my breath and stretch my neck out a bit.

MAJOR EXECUTION ERROR: on the first loop, I made a wrong turn that cost me almost 3 miles and 15 minutes of clock time.  It was 100% my fault!  The turn was clearly marked and there was a cop pointing the way.  I simply went right when I should have gone left.  I finally realized my error when I came to a T junction without any marked turn arrows or police cars!  I fortunately made the correct decision to turn around and go back the way I came.  Damnit!

Aside from the wrong turn, I’m happy with my bike execution.  My TSS numbers were right where I wanted them to be.  I got off the bike still mentally alert, confident and as ready to run as one can be after 8.5 hours of racing.

The three lap run course was a 4.4ish mile out and back on a paved trail.  About half the trail was covered in tree canopy, and half was exposed to the sun.  My plan was to execute a run/walk strategy the entire way, to prevent a major meltdown.  I knew I wouldn’t have the run chops to go the whole distance without a walk break.  I would also keep my cadence very high, and run on grass and dirt when possible.

I knew after the first few miles that I wasn’t going to be setting any speed records, and that even my reasonable run/walk strategy was in jeopardy.  I was jogging at 10-11′ mile pace and my walk recoveries were nice, but I wasn’t getting any faster and my legs were already starting to burn.  The heat was a major slowing factor early in the run, and I was also having GI issues that were slowing me down considerably.

The mile leading up to the turnaround was quite hilly (both up and down), so I quickly modified my strategy to lengthen my walk breaks from 1′ to 2′, and then to 3′, and then finally to 3′ + uphills + aid stations (lol).

However, I was still able to run consistently and steadily during the run intervals, and easily resume running when I chose to begin again.  So I was still in control.

At mile 11, I took a Mucinex-D tablet, which contains pseudoephedrine.  I’ve found I respond very well to Mucinex-D, and this was to be my “secret weapon.”  Sure enough, I found my rhythm and maintained my speed as I ran the second lap.  Aside: pseudoephedrine is a legal performance-enhancing supplement, much like caffeine, in reasonably limited quantities.

When I hit the last loop, I actually began to feel a bit better.  Maybe it was because I knew the end was in sight, or maybe it was the Mucinex-D kicking in, but I didn’t slow down (and I didn’t have to take any more bathroom breaks).

Finally, I arrived at the last mile.  It felt so great to finally be done that I actually kicked it up like six gears and cruised at 8:30 mile pace to the finish!  Maybe I was a bit *too* conservative on the run?

Anyway, though I walked a sizable portion of the marathon (probably about 1 hour in total of walking), I feel like I executed the marathon well, because (a) I was in control of my body the whole time, (b) when I did choose to run, it was at a relatively constant pace the whole time, and (c) my third loop was approximately the same pace as my second loop, which is a sign of good pacing during an Ironman.  Of course, I wasn’t fast at all, but given the fitness I brought to the race course, I went as fast as I could.

I have a lot of work to do before I can compete (rather than just participate) at Ironman.  I know too many people that I can compete with at short course, but school me at the 140.6 distance.  I need to significantly improve my ability to run long after accumulating 300+ bike TSS and I need to improve my nutritional strategy.

I am going to take this coming year off from Ironman, work on my run, and we’ll see where things go from there.  I know I said the exact same thing after my Ironman last year, but I really mean it this time!

LOGISTICS: the GFT is logistically quite simple.  It’s less than 2h from Gainesville, which means I only need a one night hotel stay.  That, in addition to the race being a non-Ironman ™ branded race, means I’m saving a lot of money over the cost of an Ironman ™ ™ branded race.  I’ll drive down the afternoon before the race, check in, drop off my bike and gear, go eat and go to sleep.  Nice!

Weather is looking okay.  Forecast is predicting low temps around 62 and highs around 84.  The bike should be mostly pleasant and the run will probably be hot enough to present a challenge.  I’m reasonably heat acclimated and I have the necessary heat gear, so I’m not going to lose any sleep over the weather.

SWIM: the swim is a beach start, two lap (exiting the water in between laps) affair in Lake Minneola.  No alligators, hopefully.  Water temp will be around 73-75 degrees, which is perfect for a wetsuit swim.  At a cruising effort, the swim should take me about 1:20.  Even though I haven’t been swimming a lot, I’m not too concerned about the swim.  It’s just the relaxing start to a long day!

Aside: USA Triathlon recently lowered the wetsuit temperature threshold from 78 degrees F to 24 degrees C (76.1 F).  In my opinion, this is an excellent decision.  The vast majority of triathletes can keep warm in 76-78 degree water temperatures; this decision eliminates the “crutch” that the wetsuit is at those temperatures.  By doing this, USAT is making a statement toward the integrity of the sport which I wholeheartedly support.

BIKE: I’m going to be a slave to my PowerTap the whole way on the moderately hilly course.  Shooting for 135 watts of average power, 1.1 VI and about 310 TSS.  Cruising at 140 watts on the flats and capping climbing watts at 225 (just above threshold).  Cadence will be between 82-87 most of the way and HR should be in the Z1/Z2 zones most of the day.

Gear includes 50/34 cranks and a 11-28 cassette–plenty of low options for the short, steep rollers.  I’m also running an aero helmet, a 58mm front wheel and a disc cover on my PT rear for maximum speed.  Race tires and latex tubes, with plenty of flat repair options.

I’m looking at around 6.5 hours for the 112 mile course, depending on the weather, the stops I make and the extent of the hills (there are portions of the course I have not ridden before).

RUN: out of the gate, I’m going to use a run/walk strategy.  I’m going to walk the first minute of each mile, as well as every aid station.  No exceptions until I get through 20 miles.  My long runs have been inconsistent, so I am not confident I’d be able to run 26 miles continuously off the bike.

The run/walk serves two purposes: (1) to keep my core temperature under control, and (2) to keep my legs fresh for when I hit the wall in the second half of the marathon.

Running will be at my E(asy) pace.  In normal temperature conditions, that’s around 8:50, but when it gets warm, I slow down.  I plan on observing HR, RPE and pace and making a judgment call as to exactly what pace I choose.

I’ll switch into a DeSoto SkinCooler long-sleeve top for the run.  This is a garment I’ve used successfully in training–when dry, it encourages quick evaporation of sweat (which keeps you cool), and when wet, it feels awesome on the skin.  I really like this top in hot conditions.

I would be very happy to end up with 10 minute mile average pace (4:25 time).  However, predicting one’s Ironman run time is often an exercise in futility, especially when it’s hot, so we shall see.

NUTRITION: nice big dinner the night before, with extra salt.  Normal pre-race meal, with some extra salt.  I’m going to skip the caffeine at the start to ensure a calm demeanor during the swim.  Once I get settled on the bike, I’ll get started with my race nutrition–350-400 cals/hour of Infinit custom mix, with 500-1,200mg of salt per hour as needed and as the temperature rises.  No-doz pills every 3-4 hours once I get 3-4 hours into the race.

On the run, it’s lots of salt (probably 1,200-1,500mg/hour, depending on heat), plus the on-course nutrition (gels, Gatorade and salty snacks).

I’m also putting TBD delicious treats in all of my special needs bags.

The 1.2 mile swim was in the 87 degree Lake Minneola.  Blech.  Reports indicate that the swim was slightly long, but I actually had a pretty good swim, at 41 minutes and change.  Turns out I was fastest in my age group??  LOL!!?  Not bad for literally *no* swim training leading up to the race!

The 56 (turns out it was closer to 60) mile bike was on country roads around Clermont, with lots of rolling hills and an ascent of Sugarloaf Mountain, which isn’t really a mountain, just a 2 minute hill at around 12% grade.  I ran a 34/26 lowest gear, which was fine, but for the GFT I’ll run a 34/28 for a bit extra spinnage.  My goal was to average around 155 watts, to have a normalized power of 165-170 watts (giving me an intensity factor of 0.8-0.82), and cap my wattage at 250 on the rollers.

I started off smooth–letting the dickswingers push their 500 watts over the rollers while I capped my efforts.  I caught many of them on the downhills and flats anyway.  Miles 15-30 were filled with cramping (probably due to slamming too much nutrition after the swim), but a brief stop at an aid station stocked with ice cold water helped ease the pain.

Sadly, my race came to an abrupt end at mile 45 with a flat tire.  I tried to use Vittoria Pit Stop to plug the leak, but the hole was too big to seal.  The Pit Stop was all I was carrying, so my day was done.  I didn’t even make it to T2 before calling Lana to pick me up!

I was pissed at myself for not carrying more flat repair stuff, and also pissed because I was feeling quite fit heading into the race.  I really wanted to demonstrate I could race long course well in the heat!

So, I did what any ridiculous triathlete looking to use up some fitness would do–I took the following Tuesday off work to try the race again.  I would do my own Half Ironman, self-supported, at race pace, on the roads around Gainesville!

The plan was this: swim 2150 yards in my 25 yard apartment complex pool, and bike/run 56/13.1 on some of my bread-and-butter routes around town.  Self-supported, including all stops and doing the transitions as quickly as I could.

I started at around 6am on Tuesday.  I did the 2150 yard swim in 40’16″ with no problems.

T1 was awkward.  I got my bike stuff ready, and then realized that there wasn’t enough light for me to start riding!  So I checked my email for 15 minutes until it was safe to ride.  Oops.

My plan for the bike was to just nail it at 160 watts (just under 80% of FTP) the whole way.  The route I selected was flat.  I chose a regular cycling jersey, regular helmet and training wheels.  I carried four bottles, which is enough for me for a 3 hour ride in slightly warm temps.

I felt *very* good on the bike.  I felt strong and powerful in my newly-modified aero position.  The first two hours were quite comfortable, and the last hour was manageable.  I took periodic standing breaks and was able to hold my desired watts and cadence (87-88rpm) the whole way.  The only mistake I made was using the same 11-26 cassette I used on Sunday (normally I choose a 12-23 for the Gainseville flats)!

Ended up averaging 162 watts (166 NP) with a VI of 1.02 (can you say FLAT roads), IF of 0.79, TSS of 198 and no decoupling.  Spot on for a half Ironman bike effort.  2:55 + 1′ worth of traffic stops.  I got off the bike ready to run.

My plan for the run was to minimize carnage.  I had intentionally chosen a route that was exposed to the sun for most of the way.  Two laps of a 3.3 mile out-and-back.  The temperatures were rising steadily throughout the run, and I knew that fatigue + rising temps could mean trouble if I wasn’t careful.  I started off running 8:45 pace, which, in cooler conditions is actually my “easy” pace.  I wore a long-sleeved skin-cooler top, and carried a water bottle the whole way (refilling every two miles or so), which I used for drinking and dumping on myself.

I held this pace for 10 miles or so, then the fatigue and rising temps started to catch up with me.  My quads started to hurt and my water breaks got longer.  My last 3 miles were slower (9:30 pace), but I was able to keep running.  1:57 without the water breaks, 2:06 with the water breaks.

So, around 5:40 of s/b/r time, not including the two transitions.  Not bad, considering the heat!

Some notes:

• I am happy with where my nutritional strategy is right now. With the exception of the cramping early in the Clermont race (which was a silly mistake on my part), I took in enough calories and salt to support my races.  During the self-supported race, I estimate I consumed over 7,000mg of salt in the form of approximately 32xSaltstick tablets (2 every 20′ on the bike, 1 every mile on the run), plus the salt in my Infinit mix and a bit from some Gatorade on the run.  Calorie-wise, I consumed about 1,300 calories of Infinit and 200 Gatorade calories, almost all on the bike.  These numbers seem to work for me in the heat!
• My clothing choices were satisfactory as well. During Ironman, I’m going to wear a (tight-fitting) bike jersey so I can carry additional nutrition + water.  I may choose to use arm coolers, depending on how hot it gets–they’ve worked for me in the past.  I will almost definitely choose an aero helmet–my LG rocket has vents in which I can pour water.  The long-sleeved skin cooler top on the run is a no-brainer for me.
• My swimming is actually OK, considering I have done almost ZERO swim training this summer.  The ROI for my long-course swimming doesn’t seem to be that great for me, so I’m not going to worry about it too much.  Perhaps a few longer swims before race day, and that’s it.
• I need a better flat tire strategy for GFT. Pit Stop is not enough.  Right now, my race wheels are a tubular front and a clincher rear, which is not ideal.  I need to either (a) carry full flat solutions for both wheels (which is cumbersome), or (b) find a clincher front wheel.  If anyone has a deep-section (preferably 80mm or deeper) clincher front wheel they want to lend me for GFT, I am all ears!
• I am concerned about the leg pain I experienced on the run. This is the same leg pain I experienced at Ironman Wisconsin.  In both cases, I was fit enough to run faster but I could not do so mechanically.  Perhaps I should consider a run-walk strategy at GFT to give my legs a regular break from the pounding.  Or maybe compression tights?  Yikes.

• Equipment: most likely no wetsuit.  Bike is in full race setup, including deep front and disc cover.  Gearing is 50/34 front, 11-26 rear.  No reason to go with big gears and plenty of reason to have lots of low gears!  Pro-tip: If T1 and T2 are in the same place, run the deepest wheelset you can.  Science supports this.  Also, few triathletes are well suited to standard gearing.  Switch to compact and you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
• Clothing: gonna wear my Kiwami Amphibian speedsuit for the whole thing.  It’s great on the swim, comfy on the bike and I can stuff ice in it on the run.  I really enjoy racing in this suit!  Pro-tip: wear tight clothing during a race.  You’ll look silly, but so will everyone else.  And you’ll go much faster if you ditch that flappy jersey!
• Pacing: It’s going to be hot and hilly.  So, I’m going to have to treat this race more like an Ironman.  That means cruising the swim and holding back on the bike.  Looking to do the swim at about an IF of 0.8, 80% of FTP avg power on the bike, and see what conditions are like on the run.  Pro-tip: hot conditions obviously affect the run significantly, but the bike leg is also affected more than one often realizes.  Hold back on the bike in hot weather, and drink a lot more than you would otherwise.
• Nutrition: going to have to take in much more salt and water than a race in more typical conditions.  On the bike, I’m shooting for about 1,500mg of salt (mostly from 6 Saltstick tabs), 40oz of water and 350cals (mostly from Infinit) per hour.  I may not be fast, but I’m fortunately able to stomach lots of nutrition without bloating.  On the run, I’ll keep up the salt intake, drink as much as I can and go for a few gels per hour.  Pro-tip: if you’re not peeing during a race (especially on the bike), you may want to consider drinking more.  And get enough salt!  Gatorade alone does not provide enough salt for activities lasting more than about two hours.

Now, you have to figure out how to look good outside of your tri shorts and wetsuit.  T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops are comfortable, but not at all flattering.  This is not vanity, but sensible–how we present ourselves sends a message about us to everyone we meet, and we ought to control what that message is.

Here are some tips for how you, a fit endurance athlete, can make fashion choices to help others see you in a positive light:

(Note: I will speak mostly about mens fashion.  With apologies to the lovely triathlete ladies, I don’t know enough about womens fashion to comment authoritatively on that issue.  However, some points below apply to men and women.)

• Be conscious of when and where you wear your race jerseys. Wearing a race jersey is a signal that (a) you’re a racer, (b) you’re proud of this and (c) you’re willing to talk about it, and possibly be judged for it.  If you’re cool with sending those signals in a social situation, then by all means wear your race shirt (seriously)!  Just be aware of these signals when you consider donning your race shirt.  (I recommend choosing race shirts that have personal significance, such as your first triathlon or your first Ironman.)
• Choose “slim fit” and “modern fit” shirts and pants. Normal fit shirts and pants tend to be too baggy on fit men.  Slim fit shirts have higher armholes and more of a taper at the waist, and slim fit pants have a higher inseam and are smaller through the leg.
• If you lose more than about 20 pounds, it’s time to get some new clothes. As your body changes shape, your old clothes won’t look as good.  It’s 100% okay to splurge on some new clothes when you hit a weight loss milestone!
• Don’t wear athletic socks when doing something not athletic. Short white socks are not appropriate casual attire.  If you’re wearing slacks, wear long socks that cover the calf.  For shorts, wear no socks or socks that are not visible above the shoe line.  For jeans or casual pants, it depends on the type of shoe you’re wearing.
• Don’t wear athletic shoes when doing something not athletic. There’s such a thing as a comfortable casual shoe that’s (gasp) *NOT* an old running shoe!  Go find a pair or two that goes well with jeans or your chinos and call it a day.
• Athletic sunglasses are rarely fashionable. Get a pair that looks good for an afternoon out on the town.  Leave the Oakley Half Jackets at home.
• Get to know your local tailor. Most off-the-rack clothes are not made to fit your body type.  A good tailor can make an off-the-rack suit look almost like a bespoke item.  They can even take in the sides of your (probably too baggy) dress shirts!  And they can certainly hem your pants, which are probably too short or too long.
• Shoes match the socks match the belt! Men, this is the most important thing you’ll read all day.  Brown shoes, brown socks, brown belt.  Black shoes, black socks, black belt.  No exceptions (not even for Tim Gunn). Got it?

Here are some tips to help you get through the swim calmly and quickly:

• Get in the water at least 5-10 minutes before you start and warm up a bit. If the water is cold, warm, choppy, etc, you want to be prepared for it before you start racing.
• Seed yourself according to your swim ability. If you’re a newer or a weak swimmer, seed yourself toward the back and/or outside of your wave.  Stronger swimmers should take the “prime” spots at the front and/or inside.
• If you’re at all nervous, wait 10-20 seconds before you start swimming! Let the rest of the swimmers get a bit of a head start, and then start your race.  The few seconds won’t make a difference in your time, and will give you a lot of peace of mind as you swim.
• If the water is cold, make sure you put your face in the water before the race starts. Hopefully you’ve had a chance to warm up, but sometimes this is not possible.  Flinging yourself headfirst into 65 degree water can take your breath away, so find a way to get your face wet before you start!
• Look for a draft. While swimming in a triathlon, drafting is legal.  It gives you anywhere from a 5-20% increase in speed.  Swim immediately behind another swimmer to maximize your draft–get your hands as close to their toes as you can (but don’t touch)!
• If you get kicked or swatted, do NOT retaliate. They didn’t do it on purpose.  Getting pissed will only screw up *your* race.  Contact during the swim is par for the course.  Keep moving forward!
• Breathe away from any surf or harsh sunlight you encounter. This is where your bilateral breathing in training gets put to good use!  If surf is coming from your left side, breathe on your right (and vice versa).
• Sight every 6-12 strokes. Don’t lift your head out of the water more than is necessary to get a quick glimpse of the next buoy.  Don’t sight too often (sighting slows you down) but don’t delay your sighting more than every 12 strokes or so, as you may end up swimming off course.
• Know how to do a “dolphin dive,” and execute it in shallow water. Dolphin diving, or performing a shallow dive in thigh-deep water, is faster than swimming or walking.  Do several dolphin dives as you start (if it’s a beach start) and exit the water.
• Get out of the water SLOWLY. The transition from swimming (in a horizontal position) to running to your bike (in a vertical position) is very stressful.  Even though you’re racing, it’s worth an extra second to shed the dizziness and disorientation that comes from this switch in body position.

Here’s a general guide as to which sources you can probably trust, and which sources you should take with a grain of salt.  The least trustworthy sources are at the top (with higher numbers), and the most trustworthy are at the bottom.

10.  Product reviews from a website that is also selling the product. Obviously they want to frame the product in a positive light so more people will buy it.  Get your information elsewhere.

9.  A triathlon magazine. Even if the advice is from a columnist, magazines are in the business of making money as well.  It’s rare that you see a negative product review in a triathlon magazine.

8.  A source that claims it’s a scientific “study,” without providing a link to the study, a description of the study protocols or any other documentation about the study. It’s easy to manipulate data to “prove” something about a product, especially if they don’t provide any information about how the study was created.  Look for documentation before buying into any claims of “scientific improvement,” and beware of the placebo effect!

7.  Internet forums. Many knowledgeable people frequent the popular triathlon internet forums.  Many MORE idiots post on the same forums, offering misinformation, personal anecdotes and trolling that is not at all helpful.  If you’re looking for information on internet forums, be ready to identify and wade through huge steaming piles of bullshit to get accurate information.

6.  Testimony from a famous superstar athlete. This athlete may be getting paid to say what s/he’s saying.  Besides, how relevant are the training habits of a pro triathlete (who can run 6 minute miles in his sleep) to you (who ran a 6 minute mile once, like 17 years ago in college)?

5.  Traditional wisdom in the sport. Though certain fundamentals have withstood the test of time, as our knowledge of sports science improves, others are not.  Take anything to which the “traditional” or “fundamental” label is applied with a grain of salt.

4.  Your training partners. The plural of anecdote is not data.  Though they may have some relevant information on local training, race strategy and where best to pick up the hot runner babes, their knowledge of triathlon is necessarily incomplete.  Take heed of their advice, but don’t act on their advice alone.

3 (T).  Your personal experience. In the end, you do know your body best.  You’re learning more every day about the types of stress you can apply in training, what equipment choices work best for you, what foods you respond to, and more.  However, still keep an open mind–you may find out you’ve been doing something wrong all along, or a new scientific development may come along and suggest a change of habit.

3 (T).  Your coach. Depending on your coach’s knowledge and the intimacy of the relationship you have with him or her, you may consider this a better or worse source than your personal experience.  So I’ll call it a tie.  A knowledgeable coach not only knows what you best respond to, but is also on top of the latest scientific developments in the sport.  S/he is a great source of information, second only to (and you may have guessed this)…

1.  A double blind, controlled, peer-reviewed, published, well-documented scientific study conducted over a large sample size and funded by independent sources who do not have a conflict of interest. These are the primary sources upon which all accurate sports knowledge is based.  The only flaw–there are so few studies that fit this bill that we’re left making up stuff as we go along and calling it “sports science!”

Of course, you’re already a badass, so these tips are about highlighting the already-present inner badass inside you.  Be sure to follow all of these tips for maximum bad-assery, especially at your local triathlon where everything is at stake.

10.  Take up a lot of space in the transition area.

Transition area too compact. Not a badass athlete.

Badass athletes need more space to contain their awesomeness.  Most people will require about 2 feet of horizontal space for their area (including their racked bike, helmet, running stuff and accessories), but true badasses need 6 feet or more!

9.  Sprint the finishing chute.

Suck it, 186th place finisher!

Real badasses leave enough in reserve to run the last 50 meters at 5 minute mile pace, obliterating at least 4 racers who were foolish enough to run at a constant pace the whole way.  Plus, you’ll look super great in your finishing photo.

8.  Bring an unnecessarily tricked out bike to races.

Top speed for true triathlon badasses: 15.3mph

The only bikes you should even consider adding to your arsenal are the ones that cost over $8,000.  Even though you can get a bike that is just as fast for $3,000, and a bike that’s 98% as fast for $1,000, there’s something magical about that extra $5-7k you spend.  Not sure what that is though.

7.  Complain about the post-race food.

Where are the bagels, guys!?

You are a serious bad-ass athlete.  You deserve to be completely renourished after a long, tough sprint triathlon.  And pizza, clif bars, gatorade, water, GU gels, cookies and pretzels doesn’t cut it.

6.  Ride the bike as hard as you can (the run doesn’t matter).

Who cares about running when you look this bad-ass anyway

True bragging rights come from having the 16th fastest OVERALL (OMG!) bike split.

5.  Don’t ever acknowledge any volunteers while you’re racing.

Don't even LOOK at the volunteers! Minus 8 badass points for this "triathlete."

You’re too busy kicking ass to bother.  Besides, they get a free t-shirt out of it!

4.  Do a “flying mount” and a “flying dismount” when exiting T1 and entering T2, respectively.

Minus eleven badass points for not using a disc wheel though.

These are easy ways to save a few seconds on race day that carry no risk whatsoever.  No risk of falling on your face, dropping your bike and busting your derailleur.  It’s never happened before.

3.  Talk about your bike non-stop to whoever will listen.

Yeah, pretty awesome amirite

Before the race to the other racers in attendance (“these carbon skewers save me 2 seconds over 40k!”), during the race (“bet you can’t get much of a draft off of me on my Trek Speed Racer 9000!”) and after the race (“my Zipp 150mm wheels were so fast, but I think I would have been faster if I had gotten the ceramic spoke upgrades”).

2.  If you are a man, do not let a woman pass you.  Ever.

Pick it up, son!

On the bike, on the run.  It doesn’t matter.  No man (especially no bad-ass man) has ever been beaten by a woman at anything except billiards and cake decorating, and you’re not about to be the first.  Pass her right back, and if she passes you for good after that, she’s doping.

1.  Make fun of the 1st time athletes at the race.

What a noob.

It’s part of the “initiation” into the sport of triathlon to get “hazed” at your first event.  Just do silly little stuff, like tell them about the 20% hill on the bike (that doesn’t exist), ask them about their training (and then tell them how you doubled their weekly mileage), regale them with stories of how you “won” your first triathlon, and if all else fails, let just a little bit of air out of their tires.  They’ll laugh it off after the race and they’ll be even more exited to try another one!

So, what to do?

Your options depend on how far you have to go to your event. If you can drive to the event (easier for some folks than others), you have several car-related options:

1. Put your bike inside your car. This is the ideal option, as it offers your bike maximum protection from the elements.  SUV and van drivers can often roll the bike straight into the car, while for most sedans and coupes, this will mean you have to remove one or both wheels.  Be sure you know how to remove your wheels, and have practiced it before your travel day!  Also, remember to cover the floor of your car with towels or a tarp–bikes are dirty and get dirt and grease everywhere.
2. Purchase a trunk rack. This gives you more space inside your car (and is sometimes the only option for tiny cars or multiple-bicycle travel adventures), but leaves your bikes a bit vulnerable to rain, snow and rear-end collisions.
3. Purchase a roof rack. Similar in advantages and disadvantages to the trunk rack, but instead of being vulnerable to rear-end collisions, you’re now vulnerable to “momentary acts of forgetfulness” as you pull into your garage!

Things get tricky when you have to fly to your event.  Airlines are notoriously unaccommodating to triathletes and their bicycles. Fees are outrageous, baggage handlers are tired and underpaid, and bike boxes and cases are ridiculously expensive.

Here are some basic things to keep in mind when you travel with your bike on a plane:

1. Choose an airline that has low (or no) bike fees. Check out the thread over at the Slowtwitch forum for information on how much flying with your bike will cost.
2. Pack your bike carefully, particularly if your bike has any carbon fiber components.  Wrap every tube in bubble wrap, remove the pedals, protect the wheels and make sure nothing is jostling around.  Document your packing job so you can re-create it on the return trip.
3. Most airlines have a strict 50 pound weight limit per bag. With many bike cases weighing around 30 pounds *alone*, that doesn’t give you a lot of wiggle room for putting more stuff (besides your bike) in there!
4. Most airlines have even stricter dimensional requirements for bags! Your bike will almost certainly have to travel as oversized luggage, which means more dollars in the pocket of the airlines.

In terms of the packaging you choose for your bike’s plane ride, you have the following options:

1. No packaging at all. You can actually roll your bike up to the counter and they’ll give you a flimsy box to put it in for the journey.  Some people have noted that choosing this option sometimes elicits better care from the baggage handlers (as they see a relatively vulnerable bike coming down the baggage ramp, and they handle it with a bit more care than they otherwise would), but I would not recommend this to anyone with a bike of any significant value.
2. A bike box, packaged by your local bike shop (or someone knowledgeable on how to pack a bike).  Bikes get shipped from the manufacturers in boxes all the time.  Properly packaged and protected, a bike can withstand travel in a bike box.  The drawbacks to this option are convenience (having to take the bike to the shop twice–before and after your event–as well as the inconvenience of having to lug a cardboard box around the airport) and price (bike shops charge $ for this service).
3. Soft bicycle case. These types of cases range from minimally padded “sling” type cases (meant for protecting your bike inside your car), to maximally padded rugged travel cases. These cases are an excellent balance of price (cheaper than hard cases), convenience (lightweight) and protection (packed correctly, a maximally padded rugged soft case protects just as well as a hard case).  Additionally, some bags don’t contain any visible markings that indicate a bicycle is inside, so a soft case owner can routinely get out of paying the bike fee on some airlines!  This is my personal choice for airline travel, I highly recommend this option.
4. Hard bicycle case. These hardshell cases can withstand almost anything the airlines throw at them.  They’re relatively straightforward to pack, and there are a lot of different options on the market.  However, they tend to be expensive, heavy and unwieldy–be prepared to incur lots of fees (oversize, overweight AND bike fees) when traveling with a hard case!

In addition to the above options concerning packaging, you have a few other options when you have to fly to a race:

1. Travel with a bike that has couplers. These couplers allow you to disassemble the frame of your bike before travel and reassemble at your destination, without any loss of frame integrity.  The disassembled bike fits neatly into a suitcase the size of normal checked luggage!  The obvious drawback is the price of the couplers (and they can’t be retrofitted onto most modern bikes).
2. Rent a bike at your destination. For casual racers and tourists, this is a tempting option, both in terms of price and convenience.  Simply pack your saddle, pedals and bike measurements in your luggage and make a stop at a LBS at your destination!  However, this is more difficult for triathletes, who require a precise fit on their bikes, particularly for an important race.
3. Use a triathlon bike transportation service. There are a few of these companies that do business in the USA.  They’ll pick up your bike at a LBS in your area, transport your bike to the race, and return it to your LBS after the race.  These services are often very convenient, and reasonably priced.  The drawbacks for this service are that, occasionally, the LBS at which the service picks up bikes is an hour or more away from where you live, and that you’ll be without your bike for up to a week before your race.

If you have any other bike travel tips, let us know in the comments!

Here’s what happens if you do your long bike on Saturday and your long run on Sunday:

• Your Sunday run consists of poor quality, slow, painful miles.  You’re too tired to maintain form or run at anything above “easy” pace.
• Your Sunday afternoon is wasted.  You’re too tired to be of any use to your family. You lie on the couch all day making grumpy Twitter posts.
• You can’t do any training on Monday (and your Tuesday, and even Wednesday training, is probably affected). We don’t train in a 7-day “vacuum”–fitness and fatigue carries over from day to day, and week to week.
• You lose fitness and your quality of life decreases. You cannot accumulate as much Training Stress (TSS) due to the slow weekend running and the days off early in the week.

On the other hand, if you do your long run on Wednesday or Thursday (Tuesday is OK too I guess), and your long bike on Saturday or Sunday:

• You can do your long run with better form at a faster pace. You gain fitness and skill.
• You have *both* weekend days for riding, or the ability to take one weekend day away from training and spend time with your family.
• You can train on Monday and Tuesday with minimal recovery concerns. You can set yourself up for a quality mid-week long run, while elegantly recovering your training load numbers after your well-executed (but relatively low impact) weekend.
• You gain fitness and your quality of life increases. You accumulate more TSS, are not imbalanced heading into the next week, and have the flexibility to take care of your More Important Commitments on the weekend as well.

A lot of athletes are very attached to the idea of smushing their huge workouts all on the same weekend.  They even take issue with the above points I made:

• “Well, doing the long ride on Saturday and the long run on Sunday is useful preparation for ‘running on tired legs.’” They always say that–”running on tired legs.”  First of all, this statement implies that it’s necessary to practice running on tired legs.  I’m not sure if this is true.  Just as practicing poor technique while swimming is a waste of time, practicing crappy running only leads to more crappy running on race day. At any rate, especially for Ironman training, there’s no preparation for the fatigue felt in the legs after 130 miles of racing.  Unless, of course, you do an Ironman in your training.  (Which is Another Bad Idea.)
• “I don’t have time during the week to do a long run.  I can only train for an hour in the mornings!” Putting aside the fact that even a 90 minute long run is more than adequate for most triathletes racing most distances (and many athletes can find an extra 30 minutes on a single weekday morning), the long run is not more important than regular run frequency and accumulating run time at race speed (5-10k pace).  An athlete will gain *more* fitness with four quality 1 hour runs during the week, including perhaps 60 minutes of good speed work, along with a mid-length weekend run, than doing 2 or 3 runs of less than an hour during the week, and then a long, slow, sloppy run on Sunday. If finding 90 consecutive minutes to run during the week is simply not possible, I would still think twice before cramming a 3+ hour bike and a 90+ minute run on two consecutive days.

A smart “key workout” weekly schedule might be as follows:

• Monday: key swim
• Tuesday:
• Wednesday: long run
• Thursday:
• Friday:
• Saturday: long bike, 2-5 mile “brick” or transition run
• Sunday: 2nd longest (or just a tempo) bike, 2nd longest (or just a tempo) run

Of course, there are always exceptions.  Athletes training specifically for a multi-day event, such as Triple T or Ultraman, need to build race simulation weekends into their schedule.  Athletes for whom the long bike and run isn’t actually that long (for example, coming off an injury) can do both the long bike and run on the weekend.  Athletes for whom weekday workouts come at an unjustifiable life cost (for example, working a double shift during the week, or those for whom they simply can’t find more than 45-60 minutes to train on weekdays) can overbook their weekends if they want, because that’s their only option.